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[poisoninmypocket]

1086 Rocky Road

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[poisoninmypocket]

[They can't, but it's a thought, a seed planted. Even if it's made the current moment a touch awkward. Monty sits beside her, wrapping his free arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.]

I want to talk, Renart. Would you be willing? About difficult matters. It need not be now, but sometime soon. There is too much unsaid between us.

[aigue]

[She sighs softly, leaning back. More talking isn't something she's thrilled about... but it would be the right thing to do.]

Yes, we should.

[poisoninmypocket]

I spoke with Royce. He thought it might help to... know what each of us wants. Truly. And to settle on something we can both agree to.

[aigue]

[What she wants requires time travel, Monty. She just sighs.]

Royce giving relationship advice, who knew?

[poisoninmypocket]

I think he received some measure of insight from his Shadow.

[Monty presses his lips to the back of her neck again.]

I love you. You know this. But I know... it is not enough now. But I do not know how to fix what has happened. What do you want between us? Perhaps that is the best place to start.

[aigue]

[Ugh, was everyone's Shadow better than hers?

She turns to face him, though after a moment she looks away.]

I'd like everything that happened recently to not have happened at all.

[poisoninmypocket]

That would not be possible without... changing time or wiping out everyone's memories of the event. Which, I think, would be inadvisable.

[aigue]

I know. It doesn't stop me from wanting it, though.

[poisoninmypocket]

[Monty sighs.]

Since it cannot be, shall we focus on what you want that can? Do you wish me to be with only you? I can be faithful in body if that is a thing you desire. You need only have ever asked.

[aigue]

[She rubs the bridge of her nose.]

I don't think you're capable of that. I would like for you to listen to me, but I don't know if you're capable of that, either.

[Especially not after what happened with Alfie.]

[poisoninmypocket]

It is a thing of which I am fully capable. Do you imagine I ran every direction for most of my life? For years, it was only ever Sibella.

I'm listening now, as well. I do not think that's what you ask of me, though. You would like me to obey your wishes. That is not the same as listening to them.

[aigue]

Can you go back to that, though?

Is this something you really want to argue with me on?

[poisoninmypocket]

If you ask it of me, yes. But you must ask. We have never defined the limits of this relationship we have. Not properly. If that is one you need, then so be it. I can abide by it.

[He frowns at her second question, but doesn't respond. He thinks she's being a bit unreasonable, but holds his tongue for now.]

[aigue]

I don't want you to be unhappy, though.

[She's tempted to start poking into his mind and see the truth of things, but she holds off for now. He's right, they need to actually talk.]

It was a lot easier to tolerate it in Between, since we didn't have any other options. But I don't want you to be unhappy here.

[poisoninmypocket]

And I do not want you to be unhappy. If I had no one else, would that make you happy?

[aigue]

... I don't know, at this point. I want to say it would, but I don't know.

[poisoninmypocket]

Then we can try it. I am at least willing to try. There are those I care for, but I can tell them I am promised only to you. I trust they will understand that there will be no further dalliances.

[aigue]

[It's worth trying. Maybe she'll be wrong?

She hopes she'll be wrong.

She gives him a small nod.]

Alright. I'm willing to try.

[poisoninmypocket]

[He nods.]

Very well. I am yours and yours alone.

And what of... Mr. Barnes? [It's one of their sticking points. A rather glaring one.] I spoke with him, told him that if he wishes to pursue you and you him, I will do nothing to stop either of you.

[And they've only agreed that Monty will stop. He has yet to ask the restriction of her, technically.]

[aigue]

[Okay, that? That makes her bristle.]

Nothing is going to happen between us. How many times do I have to say it? This is what I mean when I say you don't listen.

[poisoninmypocket]

And yet I know you are unhappy for it.

[aigue]

What makes me unhappy is when he isn't in my life. Whether that's as a friend or something more, that doesn't matter to me. I just want him around.

[poisoninmypocket]

[Monty gives her a long, searching look. He doesn't quite believe her, but he's not going to say that.]

Then I will say no more of it and not speak to him, if you would prefer. I do not know that there is anything I could do to make amends with him, truly. To ease any trouble our being together may cause you.

[aigue]

[She scowls back at him. Just being friends isn't exactly an ideal situation, but she's realistic and she loves Bucky enough that continuing to have him in her life is enough.]

I don't want you going near him if that's what he wants. He was the one you murdered, not me.

[poisoninmypocket]

[He purses his lips.]

And yet, you are the one whom I care about in this. What might I do to mend your heart? Is it simply time you need? I thought reaching out to Mr. Barnes might help you, that you could use his friendship here. I do want you to have friends, darling.