Be still my heart. Are you asking for my advice to court Mr. Grigory?
[Monty is being willfully obtuse, now, having read through the conversation Sam and Masaomi had had. But as someone had decided to publicly imply that he is a homosexual.]
[As usual, Masaomi brings this upon himself. But since he is actually looking for advice, and he's going to need a way to fuel his belief power practice from here on out...]
It's not a tap, Mr. Kida. I don't turn it on and off at your pleasure. If you're searching for more general advice, you might like to start with how you speak about and talk to the women in our company. You're prone to being crass; our communications networks are public. If you wish to discuss the particular features of a woman in some crude manner, you'd best move your conversation to something private. You might like to cut that sort of thing from your conversation all together, though.
It's unpleasant and demeaning, as though you're looking to a woman to please you. You are the gentleman; it is your duty to please her, first and foremost. You cannot do that if you're discussing intimacies as you would the weather.
Compliments are certainly welcome, but my saying something like this:
Mr. Kida, your hair is like spun gold, soft and handsome, a match for the vibrant light of your eyes. I think there must be something rich and bright about you. Not even this place can diminish it. I look upon your smile and find my heart lifted far and away to the heavens.
Is a far cry from any of the compliments I've seen you put forth.
Has someone told you they don't feel wanted? If you're looking to brace their spirits, then it really is as simple as speaking to them and showing an honest interest. Listening, engaging them.
Did you know Ms. Lilia's world was at war before her arrival here? She saw Darc and his companions bring peace between Deimos and humans. Ms. Oswald is a teacher, one of English literature. She's met some of the greatest writers of all time thanks to her travels with the Doctor and his time machine. Ms. Renart loves fairy tales and stories. She's named for one, you know? A very famous fairy tale featuring a fox known for his cunning and trickery. Ms. Lucina is the Exalt of her people. She, Ms. Nah, Ms. Severa, and Ms. Noire are all members of the Shepherds, a group who were granted the grace of their goddess to travel back in time and fix a timeline to restore the future. They did this knowing that they could never share in that alternate future, themselves. They are warriors and heroes, strategists and battle-hardened veterans. And yet, Ms. Lucina is a bit silly, Ms. Nah is a lover of books, Ms. Severa enjoys teasing and being pampered, and Ms. Noire was so determined to find a way to help that she went from black magic to swords to the bow to discover her talent over the years. Nyx is another battle-hardened veteran who enjoys being read to and drinking. Ms. Price enjoys ballroom dancing and is quite the expert at the tango and mentioned she'd be happy to teach others. Ms. Lehane is a vampire slayer with a sharp tongue and a sharp wit who enjoys testing her mettle where she can.
I learned all of that by listening, letting them know that I was interested. And I'd like to think that all of them know that I hold them in some regard for it.
[There's not much Masaomi can sass in that bit of insight. He doesn't know most of those things, not because he doesn't listen but because he avoids such those topics that would actually mean something, those topics that might prompt him to share things he doesn't want to share. Masaomi keeps his connections shallow while pretending he's making a difference.
He purses his lips, taking his time to reply unlike before.]
Nobody's told me anything.
But doesn't everybody feel like shit in a dump like this?
What's wrong with helping them forget what they're stuck with for a while by giving them something else to laugh about?
Yes. There is a great deal to be miserable about here, Mr. Kida. And I know you try to put on a brave face. That's what I've learned from listening to you. You're so desperate to cheer everyone else, to make them laugh, that you go much too far. I've seen you be serious and I've seen you be truly charming in your humor at times. But you let your desperation overshadow that.
There's nothing wrong with being sad or unhappy sometimes. That's something everyone here can understand. We've lost so much, and there's nothing but hard work ahead to get even a fraction of that back. And sometimes, people just want to talk about what they had, remember what they had and share it.
We're up to 91 people this month. Those who have been mislaid. Ryouta's gone. He was here with us from the start and he was just starting to teach me how to play basketball. I have that from him, though. Because he shared it with me. And I have a piece of the worlds of so many other people who've left because we didn't forget.
You want to make people laugh, and that is a noble cause. Something to take away hardship and pain. There is a time to laugh and there is a time to cry, though. Timing is everything in comedy, is it not?
[That is a whole lot of words to say "I know more about you than you've told me." Masaomi wants to strike back, harboring a battle mentality even when talking about wooing advice of all things. He can't help feeling like he's met another Orihara Izaya, another man who can see right through him. But that only illustrates Monty's point. He listens, to everything, and he uses what he learns to say what people need to hear.
Maybe he's more frustrated with himself than Monty.]
Well, I do have a very nice pocket watch to help in keeping it.
[He didn't say the jokes had to be particularly good, just well-timed.]
Joking to one side, Mr. Kida, perhaps you'd like to consider my recent discussion with Ms. Price for an example. I know how I come off to most people here. Stuffy, boring, interested in men named 'Ralph.' [Yes. Yes, he has been watching, Masaomi.] There's humor in subverting expectations. I know how people see me, and so I can make a joke of it. Not to be self-deprecating, but to be self-aware.
Let's try a role-playing scenario. I'll be Ms. Price. How would you approach me? At least in text. I don't think I've ever seen you walk up to a woman.
Hello! My name is Phoebe. I've only just arrived. Everything seems very strange here, but quite exciting. Those funny people - The Hedonists? - they've been telling me the most peculiar things. They seem very dear, but I don't understand. I think they were flirting with me!
[Monty rolls his eyes, but tries to imagine what Phoebe would actually say to that.]
Oh, my! You're very sweet, but I don't even know your name.
I should desperately like to hear about what happened, though. It sounds tragic; so many people here must be hopeless. Oh! There I go assuming. Perhaps everyone's happy here?
[Calling Phoebe 'Angel'? Monty bristles, but tries to hold it down. He'd chosen this persona, not Masaomi. He'll throw a curve at the young man for assuming himself, though. Not bothering to ask anything about the woman he's flirting with.]
Mr. Masaomi! Oh, I don't think my fiance would much approve of that. How very drole you are. What are those symbols? They look almost like a face. They're so cute.
I read all the most extraordinary novels about far off places and such, though. I'm not at all sure what a movie is, but I just know I'll believe you!
[Monty stares at the portmanteau and slowly covers his face for a few seconds.]
Mr. Masaomi, I've had people talk about me being a naive girl who hardly knows anything of the world, but I'm not that naive. You seem a very nice man, but I'm not the sort of girl to have a loose skirt!
I think you ought to tell me the long story, or I shouldn't be able to talk to you anymore.
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text; 11/3
I heard you're the suavest guy I'll ever meet.
Prove it.
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Are you asking my to court you, Mr. Kida? I didn't think I was your type.
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But apparently you're Sam's type.
He says the girls fall over you.
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[Monty is being willfully obtuse, now, having read through the conversation Sam and Masaomi had had. But as someone had decided to publicly imply that he is a homosexual.]
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I still don't believe him.
So prove it.
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It's unpleasant and demeaning, as though you're looking to a woman to please you. You are the gentleman; it is your duty to please her, first and foremost. You cannot do that if you're discussing intimacies as you would the weather.
Compliments are certainly welcome, but my saying something like this:
Mr. Kida, your hair is like spun gold, soft and handsome, a match for the vibrant light of your eyes. I think there must be something rich and bright about you. Not even this place can diminish it. I look upon your smile and find my heart lifted far and away to the heavens.
Is a far cry from any of the compliments I've seen you put forth.
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Yours makes me feel like I'm reading Shakespeare without the dick jokes.
[Actually, he feels like he's back in school listening to a lecture, and that more than Monty's example inspires his spite.]
If that's the best general advice you've got, I want something more specific.
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You'll need to tell me who you're actually trying to woo, in that case. Each woman is different. An approach should be tailored.
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I want to make the girls here realize how wanted they are.
That's all.
I don't want to marry anyone.
I've got a girlfriend, you know.
[Believe it or not.]
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Did you know Ms. Lilia's world was at war before her arrival here? She saw Darc and his companions bring peace between Deimos and humans. Ms. Oswald is a teacher, one of English literature. She's met some of the greatest writers of all time thanks to her travels with the Doctor and his time machine. Ms. Renart loves fairy tales and stories. She's named for one, you know? A very famous fairy tale featuring a fox known for his cunning and trickery. Ms. Lucina is the Exalt of her people. She, Ms. Nah, Ms. Severa, and Ms. Noire are all members of the Shepherds, a group who were granted the grace of their goddess to travel back in time and fix a timeline to restore the future. They did this knowing that they could never share in that alternate future, themselves. They are warriors and heroes, strategists and battle-hardened veterans. And yet, Ms. Lucina is a bit silly, Ms. Nah is a lover of books, Ms. Severa enjoys teasing and being pampered, and Ms. Noire was so determined to find a way to help that she went from black magic to swords to the bow to discover her talent over the years. Nyx is another battle-hardened veteran who enjoys being read to and drinking. Ms. Price enjoys ballroom dancing and is quite the expert at the tango and mentioned she'd be happy to teach others. Ms. Lehane is a vampire slayer with a sharp tongue and a sharp wit who enjoys testing her mettle where she can.
I learned all of that by listening, letting them know that I was interested. And I'd like to think that all of them know that I hold them in some regard for it.
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He purses his lips, taking his time to reply unlike before.]
Nobody's told me anything.
But doesn't everybody feel like shit in a dump like this?
What's wrong with helping them forget what they're stuck with for a while by giving them something else to laugh about?
If that's not engaging, what is?
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There's nothing wrong with being sad or unhappy sometimes. That's something everyone here can understand. We've lost so much, and there's nothing but hard work ahead to get even a fraction of that back. And sometimes, people just want to talk about what they had, remember what they had and share it.
We're up to 91 people this month. Those who have been mislaid. Ryouta's gone. He was here with us from the start and he was just starting to teach me how to play basketball. I have that from him, though. Because he shared it with me. And I have a piece of the worlds of so many other people who've left because we didn't forget.
You want to make people laugh, and that is a noble cause. Something to take away hardship and pain. There is a time to laugh and there is a time to cry, though. Timing is everything in comedy, is it not?
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Maybe he's more frustrated with himself than Monty.]
Maybe.
So what if you're right?
If you're right, and I'm wrong.
You're saying you've got the timing.
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[He didn't say the jokes had to be particularly good, just well-timed.]
Joking to one side, Mr. Kida, perhaps you'd like to consider my recent discussion with Ms. Price for an example. I know how I come off to most people here. Stuffy, boring, interested in men named 'Ralph.' [Yes. Yes, he has been watching, Masaomi.] There's humor in subverting expectations. I know how people see me, and so I can make a joke of it. Not to be self-deprecating, but to be self-aware.
Let's try a role-playing scenario. I'll be Ms. Price. How would you approach me? At least in text. I don't think I've ever seen you walk up to a woman.
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Hey.
We all know how you come off, but I'm totally different!
If you want me to play with your rolls, you have to act like a girl.
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[Well, if they're going back to this...]
Miraculously, women do not sound very much different from men in writing.
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You have to act like someone who isn't you.
I'll take the advice, but I can't
I don't want to imagine you as a girl.
[Look, he's at least trying to be less crass.]
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Hello! My name is Phoebe. I've only just arrived. Everything seems very strange here, but quite exciting. Those funny people - The Hedonists? - they've been telling me the most peculiar things. They seem very dear, but I don't understand. I think they were flirting with me!
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You're way more exciting than this dump!
The end of the world isn't usually something people WANT to hear about.
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Oh, my! You're very sweet, but I don't even know your name.
I should desperately like to hear about what happened, though. It sounds tragic; so many people here must be hopeless. Oh! There I go assuming. Perhaps everyone's happy here?
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Call me Masaomi, and I'll call you Angel. (*^-οΎ)ββ
If I tell you what happened, you won't believe me though.
It's like something out of a REALLY bad movie.
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Mr. Masaomi! Oh, I don't think my fiance would much approve of that. How very drole you are. What are those symbols? They look almost like a face. They're so cute.
I read all the most extraordinary novels about far off places and such, though. I'm not at all sure what a movie is, but I just know I'll believe you!
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My face!
I'm winking at you.
If your fiance won't like a little thing like me calling you Angel, he's not gonna like much of anything you have to do here.
Long story short, you've landed in the sexpocalypse.
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Mr. Masaomi, I've had people talk about me being a naive girl who hardly knows anything of the world, but I'm not that naive. You seem a very nice man, but I'm not the sort of girl to have a loose skirt!
I think you ought to tell me the long story, or I shouldn't be able to talk to you anymore.
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But these guys, the hedonists.
They have this power over reality that lets them make everything they believe to be real actually real.
They kept the world running for a bit even after it ended, but then
POOF!
It wasn't good enough anymore.
This is what the world really looks like now, not what you were looking at five minutes ago.
It's not just the hedonists who have that belief power anymore though.
Some of us too!
Only problem is: you have to have sex for that belief power to work.
Even when it comes to believing you exist.
Without sex, you start to fade away like the rest of the world did.
So.
Sexpocalypse.
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